We are such self-seeking individuals, for all that really matters to us is survival and yes, self-actualisation. There’s nothing wrong with that; we are just a kind of animal after all, fighting for survival and forever seeking what makes us and our lives meaningful.
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How can the connectedness of human beings be explained? I’m not talking about emails, Facebook or handphones. I’m talking about this intangible connectedness. That one’s action leads to a consequence affecting another, that everyone’s life is in a way interlinked, that you might just bump into someone whom you know for only a few days, a few hours, a few minutes, but someone who changes your life.
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“It is because the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn’t just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.”
The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom
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Mum’s just told me that I think too much. She asked me to stop thinking and having needless worries, and devote all my energy to studies. I secretly made a grimace.
I know Mum is smart, not only book-smart, but also sharp at detecting signs and interpreting things. But she doesn’t see through those things. Unlike Dad, she only interprets what’s on the surface, and I think she’s just unwilling to ponder more.
Why bother thinking more when you can choose to live a simple life free of worries?
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I was in a pretty angsty and emotional mood because of my blocked nose, giddy head, Mum’s words and the depressingly greyish sky. Writing seems to have soothed me a little bit. Heh. Bio SPA tomorrow, time to study.
I know when I wake up tomorrow morning, I’d blame myself for not sleeping at this hour. But this urge to sort out my thoughts is irresistible. ;)
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The act of quantifying has its reason after all. It gives us comfort, to have a specific number to go after, to know what specific benchmarks to meet. It, however superficial and generic, provides us with a sense of mission and self-assurance.
So we forget about what really matters to us; no more individualistic definitions of life. Just seek what has been defined by others and we can easily be happy and, successful.
It’s as if everything in life has a specific definition and can be expressed using labels and quantities. Everything has been simplified to Maths equations. Everything has a solution.
When everything does not.
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I guess when you start thinking, you can’t stop. It’s addictive to make sense of your surroundings; it brings you bliss.
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Call me arrogant and pompous, but I just can’t help smirking at those book-smart mainstream students. Do they even know what they are studying? Do they know what they want? How well do they know themselves and the world? Do they THINK?
Having said that, I suspect those students smirk at alleged thinkers like me too, especially when we struggle to make sense of the combustion of Alkenes into… ugh, forget it.
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There is little difference between day-dreaming and contemplation on the surface.
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I miss talking to you. For you are one of the few who can understand me.
The time when we spent our afternoons talking about feelings, life, society and us. When chocolate bars were all that we needed. When we sat side by side, staring into the sun occasionally, lost in waves of thoughts.
I’m sorry for I was so occupied that I seemed to have forgotten those times. But you know I never did.
You know I long so much for an afternoon with you, just you and me, and our companion silence.
